Maestra by L. S. Hilton

So, the second book in this series (it’s called Domina) is out later this year and it made me think back to my time with Maestra… I’m not ashamed to say that I found my review so hilarious that I thought I’d “re-share” it with you!


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3-stars

NSFW

Designer label, cultural reference, sex, expensive shopping trip, dirty sex, designer label, posh food, something in French or Italian, graphic sex and on and on it goes…

I want to hate this book, I really want to hate it. I wish I could give it one star because it was simply one of the dumbest and most stuck up books I’ve ever read, but I can’t. I can’t because I actually kind of enjoyed this stupid thing. I didn’t enjoy it enough to give it a near perfect mark because I was rolling my eyes the whole way through, but it wasn’t mind numbing, it was kind of fun. This book turned out to be nothing I was expecting, but not in a good way. What I was expecting was a bit of sex, a few cheap thrills and a little bit of crime drama, but what I was presented with was something hideously posh (although I got it on audiobook with Emilia Fox as the narrator which probably upped the poshness), with gritty, dirty, nasty, trying too hard sex scenes and an overuse of cultural references that 90% of people won’t understand or give a shit about and the smallest amount of crime.

Judith / Lauren. Our ridiculous main character for this ridiculous novel. While some people are saying that she’s a strong female lead who takes shit from nobody, I have to disagree. She’s not ‘strong’, she’s a bitch. She’s a cold hearted, manipulative, crazy bitch. She’s not ‘strong’ because she takes shit from no-one… in fact, she does take shit from a lot of people! “Shit” being literal stuff rather anything else, like money. All Judith / Lauren cares about is having money to better herself and she doesn’t mind how she gets there.

If you’re intolerant to the word “cunt”, as many people are, I don’t suggest you read this book. The word is used an unnecessary amount of times in this book. It gets thrown about like it’s not the most shocking and grotesque way of describing one’s lady bits. “I washed my cunt.” …

I admit, I often quite like a fucked up character, they’re usually interesting to read and I can often find some of myself in their broken mind but Judith / Lauren is just weird and gross, eg “I feel I was fucking another dead man, and I liked those thoughts” … and then she came. Ummmmmm.

Also, how does she just manage to get everything she wants and needs? It’s not at all realistic!

The large section of this novel based on a boat felt so hilariously over the top and pointless. I mean I guess the whole story is over the top but this was on another level. Do people actually live like that? Travelling on their boat for months and picking up random girls and letting them stay with you, buying them things, helping them set up offshore accounts? I mean c’mon. Also, Chapter 21 was just one long excuse for another sex scene. Obviously, Hilton felt a pointless, graphic, over the top anal fuck was a necessary element that the book was currently missing.

This book certainly isn’t for the faint hearted. There is a lot of graphic material in this story, especially when it comes to sex. Unlike erotica that’s supposed to be… well… erotic, the sex in this book is plain nasty, even when it’s being done with a hunky boat captain.

Around Chapter 22 I thought things were actually going to start becoming the “shocking original thriller” it claimed to be, but alas, it continued on as dull as before. Why was it only in Chapter 27 that I finally had a bit of a shock?

I just think this whole book was an excuse for Hilton to name as many designer brands and European locations as possible. Between all this fanciness I actually enjoyed the story, though it wasn’t anything incredible and, in the end, the plot was pretty similar to most other thrillers, money and murder. This book was a tad too long, though, I found myself getting weary towards the end. This was a whole 10 hours of not a lot. Be warned, this is a “To Be Continued…” book. I’m pretty pissed off about that, to be honest, I’m not sure I could endure any more of Judith / Lauren. (edit: I can, and I will)

P.s. Emilia Foxs’ male voices and accents are pretty terrible so just buy the paperback.

Buy it here!

6 thoughts on “Maestra by L. S. Hilton

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