The most important thing you should know about REAL WITCHES is this. Listen very carefully. Never forget what is coming next.
REAL WITCHES dress in ordinary clothes and look very much like ordinary women. They live in ordinary houses and they work in ORDINARY JOBS.
That is why they are so hard to catch.
Truth be told, I never read this book as a child. I got about 40 pages in and it scared the living daylights out of me. Now, as an adult, I can still understand why. I can now also truly appreciate how terrifying it is! I mean, this book contains subjects such as a car accident killing our narrator’s parents, adults murdering and eating their own children, children being led away by claw handed women, maids threatening to drown pets… it’s all so horrifying!
The imagery in this book is the stuff of nightmares. Grandma really doesn’t hold back on the horror and gore in her stories, they are deliciously dark and disturbing. Honestly, one of the worst parts of this book, for me, is when we first encounter a witch from the narrator’s eyes – She was looking up at me and smiling in the most peculiar way… this woman’s lips went upwards and downwards, showing all her front teeth and gums. The gums were like raw meat. Gah, horrifying!
Fun fact: This book terrified (and terrifies) me so much that I’m still affected by it today (no thanks to my mum!!) Each and every night I still tuck my thumbs into my fists, to stop the witches coming and taking them away like they did with Grandma’s.
While I am still scared by this book, I can also now appreciate the comedic aspects of it too. Grandma is an absolute hoot! Some of the conversations between grandson and narrator are hilarious.
Why this book is for kids I’ll never know, so as a kids story, it gets 2 stars, but in general terms, I think this is one of the best horror novels I’ve ever and will ever read so it gets a full 5 out of 5 from me!