”Annie Annie oh Annie please please no please don’t Annie I swear to you I’ll be good I swear to God I’ll be good please give me a chance to be good OH ANNIE PLEASE LET ME BE GOOD -”
“Just a little pain. Then this nasty business will be behind us for good Paul.”
Well hot fucking damn. Is this the best book I’ve read all year? I think it might be. I am officially a Stephen King fan. A “Stephen King convert” as my mother is calling me. Misery is a goddamn masterpiece. It’s so tense. I don’t know how anyone can write so well that I’m actually squirming. LEGIT SQUIRMING AS I READ.
Misery is about a bestselling author, Paul Sheldon, who, after celebrating his completion of his next (and best) book, drinks a little too much champagne and gets himself into a nasty car accident in the middle of nowhere. He wakes to find his legs shattered but splintered (splinted???) in a mysterious house. Luckily, or unluckily, he’s found himself saved and in the capable hands of his number one fan and ex-nurse, Annie Wilkes.
I put off reading Misery for, oh I don’t know, maybe 5 years? I watched the film, of course, because disliking a film can be down to a number of variables, the wrong director, actors you dislike, bad script etc, but not liking a book, a Stephen King book, is down to one and one thing only, the author. And I was so terrified I wouldn’t like Stephen King! Honestly, terrified is this right word for it. I didn’t want to turn around in a house, no, a society, that claims Stephen King is a modern day Charles Dickens, of sorts, and say “nah, not that into him myself”. But lo and behold, I ended up liking both the film and the book, thank Christ. The book more so than the film, but isn’t that usually the case? Although the actors for both Paul and Annie in the film version were spot on.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so vocal whilst reading a book. Misery had me yelping and oohing and arring and laughing and yucking all the way through. King’s writing is so vivid you are Paul Sheldon for the duration of the book. You’re Paul, rolling around in his wheelchair, holding your breath and crying and sweating, hoping that car you hear isn’t Annie’s. Hoping she’s holding those Godsent Novril tablets every few hours to subdue your pain. Wondering how the hell you’re ever going to be able to escape. You completely immerse yourself in the nail biting story, page by page. This is a perfect novel from start to finish, that’s all I have left to say.
If you’ve never read Stephen King before, start with Misery. I double donkey dare you.